This is a story of forgiveness... forgiving myself and others who didn't dare to believe the best in me. It's the story of me becoming a parent... "sometimes parents just don't understand" seems (still) to be the theme of the rebellious rapper (as IF the "fresh prince" (will smith) could be rebellious!)... but I don't want to be one of THOSE kinds of parents. I want to understand.
I want to understand them and love them and know them.... when they're 2 and stuck in-between talkless and the explosion of thought... when they're 5 and beginning to express their appreciation for the intrinsic beauty of the souls around them... when they're 8, 13 (exploding again!), 19 (now a man... now a woman), 28, 42 and 90. After that, I will surely let them go to God alone... right? WRONG!
I'm forever the partner with God on this one.
One thing that has been really difficult to reconcile regarding this parenting thing... is the deaths of my Mom and Dad. You ought to go listen to Sarah Mclachlan do her new song, Fallen: "heaven bent to take my hand..." about the death of her mother and the birth of her baby daughter...
Man! Can I identify with that! Had my boy Simeon around the death (graduation) of my Mom... and my boy Elijah around my Dad's following my Mom into heaven... all in the last 2.5 years... crazy as hell, I'll tell ya.
But I learned that the death of the flesh (and the attendant hope of resurrection) is ALL part of LIFE! Life is not only the physical being! Life is the spirit in a person... who transcends time and place... to become all that they were meant to be.
Sometimes a Savant of a person achieves a measure of that transcendent expression here on earth... in this present, dusty, mortal shell.
And sometimes their dreams are preserved only for heaven and the hereafter (which may occur back here on terra firma!)... and they'll never get to fully express that burning desire and inner dream... until they are in the presence of the One who knows it well.
But my Fatherhood isn't waiting! It can't! I must love them selflessly, wholly, abandoned with the deepest fires of passion and wonder.... now... before I disappear from their learning gaze.
And that's my prayer: that I would find my place in time - here - (in the face of "al panai!") my children.
My wonder-seeking, glory-spilling, screaming, laughing, exploring, beautifying little ones.
And, Michelle, you are the half of me assumed throughout this discourse... that I would implode and disappear...
without.
Monday, February 23, 2004
Monday, February 16, 2004
Everything for Everything
I'm about done with the room for the studio! Still have to sand and coat the wood, sand and paint the walls, install the desk and various shelves and nooks and things, but the room itself...! And, man, is it looking good! The pic on the website doesn't do it justice at all!
But the thought that's striking me more and more is this - "am I surrendered to God for EVERYTHING He has for me and my family?"
Bruderhof got me started this morning with a devotion about just that.
It's not enough to just show up at the river and ask John to dunk ya so you can get it over with...
Matthew 3:5 - People went out to (John the Baptist) from Jerusalem and all Judea and the whole region of the Jordan. 6 Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River. 7 But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? 8 Produce fruit in keeping with repentance!"
So, in essence, he's saying, "You religious hypocrites! If you really want what I'm standing for, go and REALLY get right with your Maker! And proove it by your actions... and by your demeanor, then we'll have something to work with!"
And the One with whom we have to do doesn't chill it down on these issues! Yeshua, King of the Universe, actually adds fire to the mix!
Matthew 3:11 John continues, "...after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. 12 His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire."
Tree63 shares on their web site about their desire to be sold out for Jesus -
"The first single’s out and already on the radio as I write this. It’s a Tree63 version of Matt Redman’s “Blessed Be Your Name”, and that in itself speaks volumes about what this new album, and this new band, are all about. You know what? We’re Christians. We admit it. There’s no getting around it, no hiding it, and we have run out of energy trying to pretend we’re just cool rockers who happen to believe in Jesus. We live for God, we have a message of good news, it’s crucial that we deliver it and if you get entertained in the process, rad. Awesome. Tree63 was built on worshipping God, and so this is a “roots” record for us. All puns intended. We know some people will be turned off by that, some don’t want to be reminded about God, but the truth is, if we don’t do it somebody else will, and hey, we want to do it! Others, we hope, will be reminded and encouraged that Tree63 still know the deal... and that at least someone out there is looking up, not sideways, and saying 'Look! Look! God is real! And He’s Good!'"
And that's where I want to start this "Everything" thought I just had...
It goes like this -
If I'm surrendered to God Almighty... Creator of all things seen and unseen... The Keeper of Love... The Father of mankind... don't you think that He will share some pretty cool stuff with me?
I have this really strong sense that He wants to share ALL KINDS of ideas and songs and moments of Grace... and so much more with us! If we would just s-h-o-w u-p in His Presence!
If I'm all about how AWESOME He is... He'll be allowed to do what He loves to do best - and make me and my family and friends AWESOME LIKE HE IS!
Everything for Everything. A reversal-of-entropy bomb! ... in the Spirit of the Big Creation Bang of Genesis 1... a life-giving, inspiration-infusing, invention-bringing bomb of Love.... just because I showed up and waited before Him for a few days.
Thank You, Yeshua, Priest of the Ages, for giving Your body as a sacrifice so I could be worthy of Your GLORY!!! THANK YOU FOR GOING THROUGH THAT, LORD!!!!
He gave Everything for Everything... so we could give everything for His Everything.
But the thought that's striking me more and more is this - "am I surrendered to God for EVERYTHING He has for me and my family?"
Bruderhof got me started this morning with a devotion about just that.
It's not enough to just show up at the river and ask John to dunk ya so you can get it over with...
Matthew 3:5 - People went out to (John the Baptist) from Jerusalem and all Judea and the whole region of the Jordan. 6 Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River. 7 But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? 8 Produce fruit in keeping with repentance!"
So, in essence, he's saying, "You religious hypocrites! If you really want what I'm standing for, go and REALLY get right with your Maker! And proove it by your actions... and by your demeanor, then we'll have something to work with!"
And the One with whom we have to do doesn't chill it down on these issues! Yeshua, King of the Universe, actually adds fire to the mix!
Matthew 3:11 John continues, "...after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. 12 His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire."
Tree63 shares on their web site about their desire to be sold out for Jesus -
"The first single’s out and already on the radio as I write this. It’s a Tree63 version of Matt Redman’s “Blessed Be Your Name”, and that in itself speaks volumes about what this new album, and this new band, are all about. You know what? We’re Christians. We admit it. There’s no getting around it, no hiding it, and we have run out of energy trying to pretend we’re just cool rockers who happen to believe in Jesus. We live for God, we have a message of good news, it’s crucial that we deliver it and if you get entertained in the process, rad. Awesome. Tree63 was built on worshipping God, and so this is a “roots” record for us. All puns intended. We know some people will be turned off by that, some don’t want to be reminded about God, but the truth is, if we don’t do it somebody else will, and hey, we want to do it! Others, we hope, will be reminded and encouraged that Tree63 still know the deal... and that at least someone out there is looking up, not sideways, and saying 'Look! Look! God is real! And He’s Good!'"
And that's where I want to start this "Everything" thought I just had...
It goes like this -
If I'm surrendered to God Almighty... Creator of all things seen and unseen... The Keeper of Love... The Father of mankind... don't you think that He will share some pretty cool stuff with me?
I have this really strong sense that He wants to share ALL KINDS of ideas and songs and moments of Grace... and so much more with us! If we would just s-h-o-w u-p in His Presence!
If I'm all about how AWESOME He is... He'll be allowed to do what He loves to do best - and make me and my family and friends AWESOME LIKE HE IS!
Everything for Everything. A reversal-of-entropy bomb! ... in the Spirit of the Big Creation Bang of Genesis 1... a life-giving, inspiration-infusing, invention-bringing bomb of Love.... just because I showed up and waited before Him for a few days.
Thank You, Yeshua, Priest of the Ages, for giving Your body as a sacrifice so I could be worthy of Your GLORY!!! THANK YOU FOR GOING THROUGH THAT, LORD!!!!
He gave Everything for Everything... so we could give everything for His Everything.
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